Where, oh where has my little blog gone?

Crap.... Has it really almost been two months since my last post? Let's do a little catch-up:
1. Hired nanny
2. Nanny agreed to take job and then quit before she started...while waiting for work permits etc...
3. Interviewed and hired another nanny...this time she's in Taiwan...will take about 8 weeks to process paperwork and get her here....but taking into account Xmas, Chinese New Year etc....will no doubt take longer :(

I really had my hopes up with the first nanny...why she waited several weeks to let me know she no longer wanted the job, I just don't know. I suspect it may have something to do with a preference among many nannies to be in the Toronto area...rather than the small-ish town near Lake Erie where we live. People seem to have this idea that we are an isolated community here...kinda burns my ass in a way! Personally, I think we are in a great area to access MANY other great areas....we are a bout 1 1/2 hours from downtown Toronto, about the same to London, about 45 minutes from Hamilton, about 1 1/2 hours from Niagara Falls...kinda convenient if you asked me...but, alas, she didn't :(
So, we are back to square one with the nanny situation...waiting the next candidate to arrive from Taiwan....I wonder how shocked she'll be going from Taipai to this town?
On the holiday front....Santa has been and gone at our house!!! Yipee, we are past the presents, the really high highs and the inevitable lows that follow and now we can concentrate on what this fam-damily REALLY likes to do at this time of year...LEAVE THE COUNTRY!!!! We will soon be marooned on a beach for 14 days....I see mucho Pina Colada's in my future!! I see a well used Kid's Club, massages for me on the beach while the Kid's Club is getting well used and did I mention that I won't be lifting a finger at meal time, but to grab a plate and fill it with food cooked by SOMEBODY ELSE!
Can't make any promises about when I'll be back to the blog...let's say sometime in early January.

Nanny 411

I'm glad to say that, today, we were finally able to interview and hire a nanny!! Yay!! I haven't heard when she will officially start, but it may be as early as one week from today (Nov 1). Looking forward to once again having a clean house (its been a while), having laundry done within a few days of it being dirty, rather than me trying to decrease the size of the heap throughout the week and never quite getting to the bottom of it. Looking forward to making (and being able to keep) appointments for myself. I've been needing to see the dentist since June (for a persistent toothache), but haven't been able to guarantee that I can actually keep the appointment, therefore, I haven't bothered to make one. DH has a very erratic, busy schedule and it can be difficult to make/keep appointments unless they are last minute. Looking forward to getting back on my treadmill - ok...so not the actual exercise itself, but the results (read: fit back into my jeans). Looking forward to doing some minor home renovations - painting the hallway, the den, the cement floor in the basement. Looking forward to planning a major reno of the kitchen for the summer. And I'm also looking forward to spending sometime in the company of other adults at DH's office....they have plenty of work to keep me busy.

It will take some getting used to to have someone living in our house with us, but I really do think its the best solution for us right now. My poor little man, E, won't have to spend so much time in the car withme driving his sister and brother to and from school...he can stay with the nanny and so what he does best - play, make messes, torment the cats and eat...in no particular order.

I'm not sure if any readers out there have any tips for us re: the nanny. I'd appreciate any advice, even if its just about employer/employee relationships and has nothing to do with having a nanny. I've been the employee plenty of times, but never an employer.

Gotta go put my two big kids to bed or they will be grumpy and tired in the morning.

Thanksgiving Weekend update

I haven't felt very bloggy lately....just kind of in a funk. Feeling a bit better after spending most of this weekend at Great Wolf Lodge in Niagara Falls....the kids absolutely loved it! I think we spent more hours in water for one weekend than we ever have...including when we go on va-cay to the Carribean! Our littlest man was the most difficult to convince that it was time to get out of the pool...he even managed to go down a few of the smaller water slides...this boy has no fear :) We jam-packed our weekend with water slides, story time, arcade games, glutonous meals at the buffet restaurant and even a horse-drawn hayride on Saturday night. I do have pics that I will share as soon as I can get then transferred to disc from the disposible camera that I was forced to buy after forgetting the digital ;(

Speaking of pics, I have decided to go only semi-anonymous...meaning: some pics, some more personal details, but without 'real' names - letters only. House Mouse 1, my biggest boy (almost 5) will now be called "N". My girly, girl (almost 4) will now be called "T" and our little man, House Mouse 3 will now be called "E". (If you happen to actually know us in person, you're probably thinking that I've chosen such original pseudonyms ;) My hope in all this is that the blog will be a bit more interesting to those that have started to read it, yet at the same time, keeping things a bit protected. I really hope to keep this blog within the adoptive community only, therefore, don't mind sharing more personal details at times.

Back to this weekend's happenings....This afternoon, we spent some time at our local county fair...takes place each year during 'Thanksgiving Week'. It was quite unusual this year in that it was actually warm weather...actually, hot, uncomfortable weather for this type of event. Most years, we end up bundling up in warm jackets, sometimes even mittens and hats have been required. The warm weather actually changed the whole focus of the fair (for me, anyway). My main goal, since I outgrew the rides, has been to eat my way through the fair...seriously. Let me explain the annual event more clearly. I start out with one dixie dog slathered in mustard (painted on with a brush, actually) - Bryan's Dixie Dogs only! Then I make my way down 'greasy food alley' towards Bev and Suzie's chip wagon - THE best fries in town. Then I need somewhat of a thirst quencher, so its fresh squeezed lemonade at the booth with the big line-up (can't remember the name). After walking through a few of the buildings (chickens, rabbits, horses, commercial buildings etc...) it is nearing the time to go home (because some years there have also been slices of pizza, BBQ beef on a bun, giant kosher pickles and one time even an elephant ear added to the list!!). On the way our, I travel a very clear path - first to Laur's booth for a few sticks of taffy (blue raspberry and wintergreen), then to the cinnamon bun place for a few take-home bundles of sugar topped with more sugar. Next is the apple cider booth for a jug of something 'healthy'. It varies slightly from year to year (depending sometimes on certain cravings if timed at that special time of the month), but my take home stash has also included a candy apple or two and sometimes a bag of caramel corn. By the way, I've been reading about this 'new' eating disorder...something to do with 'overeating' or 'binging'....lol!! I figure its once a year and my diet starts tomorrow ;)

While at the fair, we did manage to see some old aquaintances,see some real characters (can you say 'barely a set of teeth between an entire carload of folks'?) and actually meet some new people. I finally had the chance to meet another adoptive mom from this area with whom I've been communicating with online for several months (hi JAJ!!). You would think that living in the same smallish town, we would have run into each other by now. It was nice to actually meet her and her family in person...her gorgeous girl reminds me a lot of my T when she was that age...ahhh memories. And her youngest son is quite the charmer....I think he and I could have had hours of interesting conversation...what a cutie :)

My little man...I mean "E" has decided that its not quite sleepy time yet...so I'd better go reintroduce him to his bed...but I'll try to post a few pics before I go....

Mmm....chocolate

The following item from 'blogthings' is appropriate to sum up the past few days....I have needed chocolate in a big way! I've been feeling kind of melancoly the past week or so...not really depressed or sad, just kind of out of sorts. I guess the fact that I am now official chauffeur two my two 'big kids'...40 minutes each way to school and back...morning and afternoon, trying to fit in laundry, house cleaning, make a descent meal for dinner, bath, clothe and put my wee ones to bed each day...kinda wearing me down....hence, the need for chocolate. Tomorrow, I'm taking a few hours off to get a pedicure and my hair done...gotta share that my toes have never looked worse and the roots are VERY bad right about now.
Looking forward to Saturday evening...meeting some of the families from our first China travel group (Dec 2004) for dinner in Toronto. We get together several times each year....this time just so happens to co-incide with Autumn Moon Festival (a wee bit early, I know). Always wonderful to see the girls as they grow and talk 'parent' with the Moms and Dads. All the girls just started JK this month...there should be some great stories and pics to share :)
For now... I'm off to watch Survivor China (starts tonight) and eat some white chocolate covered cookies...even though I REALLY am a milk chocolate girl at heart.

You are Milk Chocolate

A total dreamer, you spend most of your time with your head in the clouds.You often think of the future, and you are always working toward your ideal life.Also nostalgic, you rarely forget a meaningful moment... even those from long ago.

=">What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofchocolateareyouquiz/">What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

Bits and pieces...

I'm still mulling over whether or not to remain anonymous...I think most people reading this actually know who I am or have figured it out (JAJ!)....so, basically, I'm not sure I'm anonymous anyway. I appreciate the fact that others have been very selective about which family members and friends to share the blog with. I haven't shared the blog with anyone in my 'real life' except for my husband....and I plan on keeping it that way. I already feel like we live in a bit of a fishbowl in our smallish-sized town since my husband is a family doctor here. Seems like if people don't already know our business, they just fill in the blanks as they please!

I think I will start to include pictures, but will keep the 'code names' for the kids. I have some really cute pics from last Tuesday (first day of school) of the kiddos...just need to figure out how to get them here from my crackberry and I'm set. I'm fairly new to RIM's wonderful invention...and I'm a bit of a techno-tard ;) We'll see how long it takes for me to get the pics on the blog.

We (meaning I'm trying to get husband to agree) are looking into hiring a live-in nanny....again. We actually had a nanny for two weeks last year...didn't work out...kinda strange situation...long, arduous story....anyhoo....
I think its strange to have someone live in the house, but I think I can can get used to the idea if it means my house is clean, the laundry is done, meals are ready at a normal time, things get baked in the oven and I can actually spend time with my children where I'm not combining play with all of the above tasks. I guess we would, in essence, be hiring more of a live-in housekeeper rather than a nanny, since she would spend far more time with household tasks than actual childcare. But she would be able to provide me with some back-up when husband is on-call...those days (especially weekend ones) can get pretty harried around here. She could also watch LM3 at home while I drive the 40 minutes I need to twice daily to chauffeur LM1 and LM2 to their school....beats having LM3 bored stiff in the car....not exactly 'quality time' for him.
I'm hoping to find someone who is not Canadian (maybe speaks Mandarin), but has lived/worked in Canada for a year or two. Part of the difficulty with the first nanny was the culture shock for her... The non-Canadian thing is b/c I find that most Canadians would rather not live-in and lack a certain work ethic that I'd be looking for (wondering if these comments are going to be offensive to some? Hope not).
I've been looking online at candidates...already have found a few promising leads....
Gotta go put the mice to sleep....they are just exhausted after school these days and LM3 is too b/c rather than let him sleep in, I wake him early now to get him ready to go.

To remain anony'mouse' or not?

I've been thinking a lot lately about how to proceed with this blog...whether or not to remain anonymous - meaning no 'real' names, no pictures of the family I love so much. As of now, I'm still undecided. I read several blogs on a regualr basis....some more anonymous than others. I'd love to hear some feedback...what made you decide to do your blog the way you do?

My original reason for being anonymous (although I've revealed my true identity to a few readers) was to protect my kids and my husband...so that I could talk about personal issues without causing them any undue harm or embarrassment. Our family already appears to be 'different' to most people we encounter on a daily basis...only one of our children 'look like' us....meaning two are Asian and one is Caucasian. Not many people where we live are familiar with adoption, let alone international adoption. I don't want to make a spectacle of our family, yet I doubt very highly than anyone outside the IA community (and more specifically, China IA community) even reads this blog...or any adoption blogs, for that matter. So, I ask myself - am I being too cautious? Would readers benefit from seeing who we are? From getting the occasional photographic glimpse of our lives? Would I feel more inspired and less cautious in my writing? On the other hand, by losing my anonymity, do I also give up my opportunity to gripe about certain subjects without the risk of any repurcusions?
I tell ya, its making my head spin. I'd love to hear from anyone with an opinion.

School is cool!

Dorky title, I know...but it kinda sums up that last two days. Both LM1 and LM2 started 'big school' yesterday. They are in a Montessori/JK program at a private school....fulltime (did I mention how happy I am about it being fulltime?) They were both duded up in their formal uniforms for the first day (since it was an 'assembly day'). Today and for the rest of the month, save one more 'assembly day', they can wear their regular uniforms, which consist of pants or shorts (skorts for girls) and golf-type shirts with the school emblem on them...very, very cute!
There are only 10 kids in their class...gotta love the small numbers. We've been getting some flack from certain people about why we've chosen to send our kids to a private school (especially since I used to teach in the public system)...not sure where the difficulty lies in this decision for those that KEEP asking us. Isn't each family/parent allowed to choose what they consider best for their own children? The school (and Montessori/JK program) offer something different that we know our children will benefit from...they are both very sensitive and I think would be lost in a class of 20 or so children. They are in the same class, which has its advantages for our LM's as well....they are only 11 months apart in age and have developed a very strong bond...they complement each other well and encourage each other to grow and learn. I guess I have 'virtual twins'...
I guess I'll take this opportunity to catch up a bit on my blog topics....
I had mentioned previously a few topics before my hiatus...hopefully, I can use this time to elaborate.
LM3 had his first visit to Sick Kids (Toronto) in August to evaluate his cleft lip/cleft palate. Unbeknowst to us at the time, he actually had his initial lip repair in April (while in China). We found this out when we first met him in China. His palate has not been repaired, but luckily it will not require surgery for a few more years. Since it is a very small alveolar cleft (gumline), and it is not affecting his hearing or speech development (or even the growth of new teeth), the surgeon has decided to wait until our little man grows a bit more and will schedule a bone graft (from his hip) and palate repair when LM3 is 4 or 5. Such a relief to think that our little man will not have to have surgery in the near future....he can just concentrate on his new life and enjoying this curious world that he now lives in. I am also grateful that he'll be at an age where his comprehension level and language knowledge will be at the point where we can effectively communicate what's happening to him. We also found out that he will not require tubes in his ears and that his hearing is normal. He has been growing like a weed...from a size 12 months when we met him in July to a size 2T now....he loves his 'num nums'!
As for the possible move to the Carribean that I mentioned in a previous post, this is something we are moving forward with - at least to the point where we are planning a spring break trip to the island that we would love to call 'home'...planning on renting a villa or a suite so that we can enjoy the local cuisine in a variety of locations, rather than an all-inclusive deal where we would be tempted to stay on the resort. We also need to look at teh schooling situation on the island and we hope to do a bit of real estate touring to see what types of homes are available. No actual tentative date for this big adventure...hopefully the right work opportunities will be available as early as next year at this time.
I'm going to save the "outlaw in-laws" topic for another post....kinda complicated at the moment...as these things tend to be....but I WILL spill the beans, I promise.
I need to go back to that old post to see if I've missed any topics.....I have a really good memory...but its short ;)
For now, I'm off to read some of your blogs....toodles :)

Is it September yet?

OK...I said I wouldn't be back until September, but I'm inMAJOR blog withdrawl....tring to fill the void with my crackberry, but its not quite doin the trick. Not bad in a pinch, but still not my laptop.
...OK...had to pause right there for a few minutes of screaming, whining, crying....maybe I was too quick to come back.....
School starts on Tuesday....then I'll really be back. Is it wrong to be counting down the days until my first and second born begin school? Did I mention that its full days Monday to Friday? Did I mention that LM3 and I will get to nap EVERY day when school's on? Is it wrong to be excited to have some quiet time?
To keep the sanity until then, I've been doing some late night reading (while I should be sleeping)....the last Harry Potter book (amazing!!!), Middlesex (Oprah's book club pick....still reading this one and loving it) and also some 'start our own business' books....got some ideas up my sleeve.

The screaming has begun again....time to put them all to bed....
See ya in a few days......until then, have a great labout Day weekend.

See you in September...

As much as I REALLY enjoy my blog/Internet addiction, I am just unable to find the time to actually commit to posting on a regular basis right now. Therefore, I have decided to go on hiatus until September...we all need a holiday some times, right? I figure September will be when life gains some normalcy...for now, that's just not happening. A few times over the past three weeks, I've actually had to make the choice of showering or blogging...no time for both. I gotta tell ya, I don't like being stinky, so I opted for the shower ;) Some days, even getting time to shower is a stretch!
Now, don't get me wrong....I'm not complaining about how busy life is right now....its been going really well with the 3 kiddos....having a baby in the house again is really wonderful. He is such a joy to be around...full of mischief and happiness....has no fear...runs at life full-throttle!!! Gotta love his zest for life...each day is a new adventure for my little man!
The lack of blogging time actually has nothing to do with lack of material....there's lots to write about....but it will wait. Here's a teaser of some topics to come:
1. Little Mouse 1 and 2 are both starting school next month
2. Little Mouse 3 has his first visit to Sick Kids very soon
3. we are looking into a possible permanent move to a tropical island....really!!!
4. we are planning at least 2 (perhaps 3) winter vacations...YEAH!!!!!
5. Some interesting family dynamics have been occurring...can you say "We qualify for that show called Outlaw In-laws!!!!?
...plus more topics.....coming your way once the dust has settled.....

See ya soon!

Back to the blogging again....

Been back now for several days....took way too long to get over the jet lag. I can barely remember the first two days of being home! Kinda scary, but since no one seems worse for the wear...everyone was fed, clothed, bathed and presumably paid some attention to...I guess we did alright ;)

China was amazing...as I knew it would be. Doesn't matter that we were in Beijing in 2004...you'd never know it was the same city. Everything changes...and quickly!! Lots of construction (getting ready for Olympics), lots of temporary housing right at building sites...can't imagine what the life of a construction worker in Beijing is like right now. Last trip to China was in winter...nice to go in summer this time. The heat was not a big deal....summer is hot, so deal with it! Drink lots of water, wear comfy cotton clothing, shower more....not difficult. Went to some different tourist spots this time...Summer Palace, different spot of Great Wall....skipped Forbidden City/Tiannanmen this time, since we wanted to see different sites than last trip.
Shopping seemed more 'focused' this time around....call it experience, call it necessary to 'zone in' when travelling with two pre-schoolers and a 1 year old (who incidently is doing wonderfully!!!), call it having all your ducks in order this time....doesn't matter what you call it, it was FUN!! Funny to see how the men all catch the shopping bug after just a taste of bargaining....one afternoon, all the men managed to venture out to the Silk market while most of the Mom's and babies stayed at the hotel...this was not planned, but the men in my entourage reported seeing all of the other men shopping by themselves!!! Gotta recommend travelling with the 'entourage' by the way.....we brought along a close family member to help out with the kids and the logistics of luggage, organization etc... Turned out to be a great decision. Not only was he the perfect 'low maintanence' travel mate, he was able to amuse the big kids while we ducked out for official duties with the new babe, he made a great beer-drinking companion for DH and he kept us laughing lots!!! Turns out he's a pretty amazing bargain hunter too....gotta give him props for the I-pod find!! 110 Yuan is an amazing deal!!!

Now for the best part ...our new little man!!! He is such a sweet natured, active, funny, charming, cuddly, loveable little boy!!! He did have some strong emotions and some grief and sadness, don't get me wrong. He can scream and cry with the best of 'em, but when he finally let his guard down and started to let us in, we met such a sweetie! He continues to grow and discover his world each day, as we learn more about him. He loves his big bro and sis....as they also adore him. For anyone out there wondering whether bringing your big kids to China or not is a good idea, I must say it was one of the best decisions we could have made. Having all three kids there made the transition so much easier...and we knew that everyone felt included from the start. At times, LittleMouse 3 would only respond to one of the bigger Mice, rather than the adults. Thanks to LM 1 and 2, LM3 loves to have a bath in the big tub and splashes around like he owns the place...so cute to see them all pile into the tub at once.

Gotta go put my 3 Mice to bed....did I mention that we've all been going to bed early and getting up early....so NOT our usual schedule...but since we have two Mice starting school in just over a month, probably not a good idea to mess with things now ;)

Hoping to find more time again soon to blog....I've been in blog withdrawl...trying so hard to catch up with my usual reads.....being a Mom to three Mice is busy, busy, busy....but I'm loving it!!!!

Thanks for stopping by.

Soon we will have 3 Little Mice

OK....so the minivan isn't that bad afterall....LittleMouse 1 absolutely LOVES it and has spent part of each day since we've had it playing inside the van - from pretending its a Tim Horton's drive thru (what a boy!!) to pretending to drive his sister to Punta Cana (did they build a bridge?), he just can't get enough of it! The only trouble is its becoming less fun for Mom or Dad to supervise all this 'van playing' in this hot, hot weather :(

LM2 seems less sure about the van....each day she asks "But why did we have to get rid of the other car? Where is it?"

On to more pressing topics.... I may be absent for a while from the blog....not sure if I'll be able to continue while IN CHINA!!!! We depart in just a few short days and since this is my 'secret' blog, I may not get around to posting on here as much as on my more 'public' blog...gotta appease the family with pics and detailed info...but I will try to visit/post a bit. I'm really hoping to find some "Chinglish" signs to post here for your viewing pleasure...that is if there are any left in Beijing, since they've begun more careful translations in preparation for the Olympics. I'm betting that I find some 'in province' though...keep your eyes peeled :)

Gotta go...need some nourishment (read: chocolate) after a very busy day with the mice.

Toodles for now!

Carol Brady....you are my hero!

I am now officially 'domesticated'.....after years of avoiding it, years of resistance - today I made a major purchase - one that makes me blend in to the crowd, puts me in the running for 'soccer mom of the year'. I bought a minivan. Never say never, my friends...because if you were ever like me - drove a cute two-door sports car until the day my first child was born - vowed I would never drive a minivan - you too will one day eat those words! I refused to test drive the van, since the one we chose was not for its ability to run the Daytona 500....I figured that we need it, we are buying it regardless....let's just get on with it. Oh and I chose a blue one - that was the one they had in the car lot - it had a big white streak of bird crap all down the driver's door - it must be destiny, I figured....the birds agree with me, at least! I just know that tonight my dreams will be full of Brady Bunch references ( I alway dream in "TV", BTW)...perhaps tonight the family will travel to the Grand Canyon in the oversized automobile that looks like it has a wooden box around it. Or perhaps, I'll drive the beast to the supermarket with Bobby (LittleMouse1) and Cindy (LittleMouse2) and get in a fender bender with the lying whiplash man.....
I get to pick up my new van Friday....maybe I'll be closer to the window at the drive-thru at Tim Horton's.......oh my, maybe there is an upside to being domesticated ;)

Chu Ju's House by Gloria Whelen - 2 thumbs up!

Since we are just over a week until we travel to China to meet our LittleMouse3, sleep has not been my friend. When I don't sleep, I read. Over the weekend, I read a wonderful book, written with the pre-teen in mind, called "Chu Ju's House" by Gloria Whelen. Since I finished teacher's training several years ago, I have made a promise to myself to read at least one children's/pre-teen book each summer, just for fun. Since I anticipate being very busy over the course of this summer, I thought I would keep my promise a bit early :)

I am glad to have found this book. It is clearly written, in language that is both appealing yet challenging and since it is written from the POV of a young girl as she grows into a young woman, it is especially sweet. Although a work of fiction, the author seems to have taken great pains to be accurate, yet sensitive to the issues of baby girl abandonment in China. I wanted to read this book long before my daughter is old enough to read it.....we are still several years away from 'chapter books'...lol. In my search for book about adoption, Chinese people and culture, I am trying to compile a library for my daughter (and sons, for that matter) to someday take as her own....I guess its my attempt to provide her with links to her past....however flimsy they may be..... I worry that she will not understand her circumstances, how she came to be where and what she is and will be in the future. I fear that she will suffer because of the choice of so many adults (including me) in her young life. I fear that she will resent me....
I just want for her what any parent wants for their child.....to be happy.

Wow....I guess I digressed a bit from the book review. As you can see, the book really brought up a lot of questions and feelings for me....which is why I appreciate it so much....if you haven't already read it, I recommend "Chu Ju's House" by Gloria Whelen.....but get ready to bring out the tissues and to strap on that 'thinking cap'.

Do you know of a good dry cleaner?

I must attract the nutbars....perhaps I look like I WANT to talk to all the crazies out there?
Note to self: Do something to change appearance, as to not attract attention from every nutbar, ingoramus, bigot in town!!!

Yesterday, LittleMouse2 and I were running some errands in the afternoon....pharmacy, pick up dry cleaning.....First, the lady at the dry cleaners asked when we were going to China to 'get another one'. I just replied with a 'Sorry, what did you say?'. She then goes on to explain in an o-so-eloquent way that her daughter works at the shoe store where my husband shops and he was telling her all about 'it'. 'It' being the new kid! She wanted to know, 'Does it already come with a name?'. After pausing to collect my thoughts, I told her that 'he' is a child and yes, 'he has a name'. Wish that was the end of the story....but nooooo....there's more....

A nosy lady (in this case, I use the term very loosely) sitting nearby pipes up..."Where are you going? I couldn't quite hear." The first lady yells over to her, "They are going to China.....to adopt another one!" Nosy Lady then proceeds to ask, "Just how do you go about buying one of those kids. I heard it was a lot of money? Are you gonna pay a lot?" I stood there dumbfounded for what seemed like an eternity and I finally managed to say, " Did you REALLY just ask me if I was buying a child?" And she said, "Yeah....that's what I'd like to know". I then said, " Not that its any of your business, but NO, I will not be buying anyone. We will adopt a child very soon, but we will not be buying anyone. He is a person. You don't buy people." She just kept on going while I was trying to get my dry cleaning an go.... "Yeah, but you must have to pay something?" I said, " Well, Air Canada won't be flying us there for free and we will be staying in a hotel...so yes, there is a cost for a trip....but NOT for a child. I can't beleive you would even think of asking that....and in front of my daughter!!" By then I had my dry cleaning and I headed quickly out the door.

What more can I say....

Do you have Facebook?

Check this out! Think twice before getting a facebook!

Trying times with the two Mice....

Today, LittleMouse 1 and LittleMouse 2 had their fittings for their school uniforms....actually, I'm not sure if it could be called a fitting, since neither one of them would try anything on. I used the drape it overtop/see if its long enough/wide enough method. I guess we'll see when the order arrives next month if we got the sizing right. I'm trying to think of ways - other than holding them down while I get them dressed - to get them excited about their uniforms. Really, HM2 won't be much trouble - its her brother who is very picky about what he wears. No buttons, no pockets, only jeans - the exact opposite of his school uniform! Should be fun come September.

It was quite hot while ordering the clothing today at the kids' school (they both start pre-K in Sept). HM1, being the thinker that he is, has an epiphany of sorts...he asked me, "Mom, its summer, right?" I answered, "No, but it will be soon." He thought about it for a few seconds and then replied, "No, I think its summer. Spring got cancelled." Sure did feel that way today :)
Getting prepared for the hot days in China.... 16 days away!!!!

Our baby boy!

I haven't really posted about our 'soon to be adopted child' b/c I've been trying to just get the feel for this blogging thing...but I recently realized that without a bit more personal info, the blog just seems a bit bland. I am hesitant to put very personal info (real names, pics showing my kids 'faces, name of our town...) out there b/c I'd like to blog about my kids and sometimes about the more controversial topics out there is IA land...without the possible repercusions that would come from giving up too much identifying info.

Since we will be travelling in the near future to China to adopt a son/baby brother, I will discuss some of the details.....the main reason being b/c we are adopting a Waiting Child and I would like to encourage others to find out more about the program....

Our son (LittleMouse 3) was born with a cleft lip and palate. He is over 12 months old and has yet to have any surgery to correct the cleft...this will be done soon after he arrives in Canada (his first medical consult is just a few weeks after we get home). He is a gorgeous, strong, chubby, and bright boy - if his referral info is correct. Developmentally he seems to be advancing quite well...perhaps ahead of schedule in a few areas. He has been in foster care, so he has had the opportunity to be given more attention, possibly more food and a more stable home environment than had he been in an institutional setting. We are grateful for this! We anticipate that he may be quite angry with us for taking him from his foster family, but we are prepared to help him adjust. His older brother and sister are so excited to be travelling to China....They are both experienced travellers, so we don't worry about them not being able to roll with the punches. If you've read earlier posts, you'll have seen that I've already been packing ...wish we were already there!

I've noticed that I've been getting a few more hits lately on the blog...I'd love to see comments from you is you've stopped by...even just to let me know you exist ;)

HM

Books by Peter Hessler

If you are looking for something to read that pertains to China, but not specifically about adoption, I fully recommend one of Peter Hessler's books. I am currently reading "Oracle Bones" after just finishing "River Town - Two Years on the Yangtze".

Anyone that knows me, knows that I am a book nut....a reading nut, for that matter. I MUST read - books, magazines, blogs, cereal boxes...you name it, I read it! I have been slowly compiling quite a library of books about China and adoption over the past few years, and I am constantly searching for something new to read. I must say that Hessler's "River Town" is one of the best China-related books I've ever read. He writes in a really fluid, clear, not textbook-y kind of way. The book is humourous and eye-opening...the first time I have actually felt that maybe China isn't all that mysterious was when reading this book. Because he lived and worked (and studied Mandarin) for two years in China, Hessler does a great job at demystifying some of the differences he sees between Western and Eastern cultures...and he does this with a great deal of humility. I don't want to give too much of the book away - I really do hope that more people will read it.
BTW - what initially drew me to this book was the fact that the author was writing about his time living in the city of Fuling (Sichuan Province). I know that Fuling is one of the places in China that has an orphanage that participates in the IA program....I personally know of one beautiful girl in my own town from Fuling. So, I guess even though adoption is not a theme in this particular book, it still really jumped out at me as something I should read. Glad I did!

Group Dynamics...

I found out today that there may be another family in the WC (waiting children's) Program, like us, that will travel to China at the same time....but to another province for week 1, and we will join each other in Beijing. We already know that we will travel with another family to the 'province' and then meet up with a group of NSN adopters from other Canadian provinces (not Ontario).
I have mixed feelings about travelling with the group in Beijing...kinda wishing it was just the 3 WC families. On the plus side, we will save a bit of $ on the Beijing part of the trip due to group rates/discounts. On the negative side, we will be herded around on a bus as the group travels, does sightseeing and meals. We may opt out of some of the group things...we'll see. Some of you reading this may think I'm being unreasonable about the big group travel, so I'll try to explain a bit more. Last time we went to China (to adopt LM2), we travelled with mnay other families in a large group, and it was great. We have maintained close friendships with several of the families since adoption and we get together 4 or 5 times a year. All of our children on that trip were healthy (a few had colds, repiratory illness - but nothing serious), the dynamics of the group were awesome - for the most part, everyone got along extremely well (there was one parent who had a meltdown of sorts one afternoon - but no biggie) and for the most part, it was a fun, exciting trip. I guess I'm just thinking that this trip can't compare to that one, so I'm setting my expectations lower.....just for the group dynamics part...not the adoption of our precious LM3. I think that perhaps it couldn't be any better than the last trip...so then that means it can only be equal or worse. Last time we knew names, phone numbers, addresses, email addresses months in advance for each family in the goup. This time, we don't have any of that info...it will arrive next week and I will make an effort to contact some families by phone or email. Last time, the majority of families were from Ontario...this time, the NSN families are all from provinces other than Ontario.
I know I shouldn't be bitching about this...it not like there's anything I can (or should, for that matter) do about it....its just been on my mind.
I am glad to have the other WC family going to the same province/SWI as us...and perhaps the other WC family that we can meet in Beijing....maybe we can form our own 'group within a group'?
OK...enough whinging for the day...I'm off to use the electronic brain cell buzzer (TV).

Packers...start your engines!!!

Crap! This is my second try at this post....I tried to edit the last one and it suddenly disappeared....here goes again....

OK...so I started packing. Couldn't help myself. DH and the Two Little Mice are all asleep and there is nada on the electric brain cell sucker (aka TV). I managed to get most of the packing done except for the last minute things like clothing (3 days worth each) , medications (must be kept in high cupboard away from little hands until the very last minute), and the gifty type things for Little Mouse 3's foster family and officials (Starbucks ground coffee, maple candies, maple almonds, Grieve's jam in small pots - from Niagara on the Lake, fancy paper napkins and plates in several motifs...and some other things I can't seem to recall). I think I'll pick up a carton of Marlboro Lites before we go - kinda controversial, I know, but still a gift that is appreciated by many in China.

As far as luggage goes, though we won't be going COO (carry on only), I don't think we're doing too bad! This is what we will bring for 2 adults and 3 kids:

- 1 large luggage - for both weeks

- 1 small (carry on sized, but will be checked) luggage - to store at hotel in Beijing for use second week

- 1 carry on bag each - 'regulation' carry- on for me, backpack for DH, kid sized backpack each for LM1 and LM2

- laptop/camera bag - I will personally carry this as it will also contain all important papers/documents

- 2 'umbrella' strollers (will also have a 'Baby Trekker' packed for LM3)

Add to that one small suitcase my brother will carry (which I will be adding some of our stuff to!) and his carry-on , and I don't think that will be too much.....let's hope.

I've included some pics of my adventure this evening for your viewing pleasure....if you are at all crazy like me, you will appreciate the pics - if not, than this isn't the blog for you!!! LOL!

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Chinese Pop Trio

Loved the original version of this song...the verdict is still out on this version.
Maybe I can find a karaoke bar in Beijing and become a STAR!!?

Packing

OK...this COULD very well be me...right down to the individually packed outfits in ziplocs, the 3 compartment formula holder....man - looks like we even have the same agency!!
BTW - can you tell I'm itching to get packing? Maybe tomorrow :)

Jam-Packed Itinery?

Today, our travel rep at our agency booked our flights for us...its a bonus that we can fly DIRECT to Beijing from Toronto. Last time, we had a stopover in Vancouver - not a bad thing, but better to avoid when travelling with a preschooler (or 2!). Since we will be travelling with the two older 'mice' (Little Mouse One and Little Mouse Two), any time-saving thing is a must! I also had the chance today to request some sightseeing adventures - but I think I may have requested too busy an itinery in Beijing - Tiannanmen Square/Forbidden City, Beijing Zoo, Summer Palace, Acrobat Show, Great Wall...add to that all of the official duties (medical clearance for Little Mouse Three, passport/consulate appointment), plus the Peking Duck dinner one night and some shopping...not sure we can fit it all in.

We are still hoping for updated info on Little Mouse Three since the last info we have on him is over six months old. I'd love to see how much he's grown and it would be handy to be able to estimate what size clothing to bring for him....not that I will bring a lot since it may just be easier to buy what we need for him in China. I'm getting really geared up tos tart packing....it has not been easy to hold off...that may sound strange, but, believe me....I am one organized HM when it comes to travelling with my kids. I have actually had a few dreams about luggage and packing over the last few days....ok that IS weird.

The RQ site is all a-buzz about the next batch of referrals....perhaps only 6 days matched this time :( I really do not understand the small amount of days being matched for so many months in a row.....and wasn't there a report that now ALL orphanages in China can submit children's files to be matched? (Not just a small percentage of SWI/CWI's like in the past). When will this take effect and actually make a difference in the numbers of referrals each month?

Mouse loves Rice

Check out this video...one of many versions. I just love it...can't seem to get the tune out of my head now...
Hope you like it!

Are you current on currency?

Where do you go when you want money, to exchange money, to deposit money? A bank....at least that's what I thought...until today, that is. Since the exchange rate is so great right now between Canadian and US funds, I thought it was time to order the US cash that we will need for our 'donation' for CCAA. $3000 in $100 bills...new (or least new looking), crisp, clean, unwrinkled, unfolded , perfect $100 bills. Given that I asked the bank to order them in for me over the next 3 to 5 weeks, I didn't think it would pose a problem...wrong! The teller looked at me like I was an alien, or perhaps involved in something criminal for asking for the specific currency that I did. She asked why I might need 'new' bills...I didn't feel like elaborating since I don't think its any of her flippin' business....so I said I need to take the money to China - for a donation. She was appauled that anyone would 'ask' for a donation and then have the nerve to 'request' that the bills be in pristine condition. I must say, she did make me think....but I didn't explain any further, just said 'yep....kinda strange...'

Turns out after consulting with her superior, the teller still isn't sure if they can honour my request....this is a bank that I've used since I was about 10 years old!! I guess on Monday, I'll be trolling the 'downtown core' for a bank that is capable of handling the order for $3000 US in $100 bills.

I do want to comment on how this whole encounter made me feel/think about this 'donation'....but I want to sit with the thoughts for a while to make sure I really understand how I even feel about it....off the top of my head the whole thing conjures up the idea of 'baby buying' or 'human trafficking'.....not sure I can go there yet....

Sexy Beijing - Lost in Translation - Danwei TV

Ever wonder how Chinese people choose their English names? Love this clip...going back to youtube to check out some other "Sexy Beijing" episodes.

There's no place like home....

I'm fighting the urge to start packing...ok to start packing some more. We have 5 weeks until travel and I'm not sure if its entirely healthy to stare at luggage for that long...and I don't exactly have a spot where I can just set it out of the way. There is no out of the way when you live with two preschoolers, especially since they have commandeered our spare bedroom...seems like they enjoy the VCR and the comfy place to watch Dora more than I enjoy one neat, orderly bedroom in the house....cause that sure isn't going to happen in any of the other rooms of our house...did I mention previously about the possible OCD thing with order...unfortuantely, it doesn't seem to translate into meaning the whole house....at least I have ONE neat place in the house....the hallway linen closet. I'm thinking I may need to post a pic of this closet in the future.

The little mice and I used the day to practice what hot and humid may feel like in China....no complaining here...we wait for this weather all winter long. I'm not sure that the heat and humidity of Ontario's South Coast can quite compare to the heat of China in the summer.In myhead, I picture the Wicked Witch of the West (or was it East?) screaming - "I'm melting! I'm melting!"

I'm off to troll the net for some interesting things going on in IA land......

False Alarm....

OK...false alarm for us on the LONG travel time in-province. Not sure where things stand on the rumour in general, as the rep from our agency said that it was a province by province decision...not a CCAA one. So, the verdict is still out on this one....if it turns out to be true that people will need to stay longer in-province (up to 3 weeks rather than the current 1 week), I think all hell will break loose. At least with the May 1 new regulations, agencies and their clients were given a forewarning...of a few months, at least.

So, we are back to planning our 2 week trip to China...leaving in 5 short weeks to go get our boy!!! Why then do I feel like I'm on a treadmill? I'm going to chalk it up to the fact that I basically slept thru most of the past weekend (May 24 is one of my favs too!) b/c of the flu :( Wasn't nice....still have a slight fever, strange sounding voice and a bark like a harper seal to show for it. So, I guess I may be in slo-mo for a few more days till the energy picks up....its time to start writing LISTS.....gotta love a well written list...oh, have I mentioned that I'm a bit OCD when it comes to organization? I actually find it kind of exhilirating to have things in order....kinda sucked in by symmetry....or is that just the fever talking......?

length of travel rumour (in-province)

Here's a rumour that ought to get some people fired up. Heard from my agency today that in-province travel may SOON (read: effective immediately for those planning travel) become a three week stay rather than the current one week stay! Just. like. that. No warning, no heads up, no 'this will commence on such and such a date'.
I guess this tidbit of info can be taken as either positive or negative news:
positive:
- staying longer in your child's province can give you a better idea of local way of life
- you get to eat bok choy and noodles for breakfast for 2 weeks longer than otherwise thought (ok...not a plus for some - but its one for HM!)

....right now no other positives are coming to mind, since HM and family are currently trying to plan our trip to China and I can only think of the negatives:
- need to budget for 2 extra weeks of food, lodging, guide/agency fees
- need to arrange 2 more weeks off of work - NOT possible for many people
- 2 extra weeks in a hotel, when baby could be home - especially important for some kiddos in Waiting Children's Program - on a personal note - our son needs surgery very soon after arriving home. Delaying surgery will only cause other delays in his development (speech, hearing....)

So...I'm not certain this new travel info is FACT, but I will know within the next few days.Also, agency rep was not certain it would affect all provinces in China (some may choose to have families stay longer, some may not). FYI - the reason for the lengthy stay is b/c the province(s) want more time to complete the adoption/paperwork....

IMNSHO - I think its another money grab - why delay work that is obviously possible to be done in one week for two more weeks? It CAN be done b/c it HAS BEEN done in a week for a long, long time.

I'd love to hear if anyone else has heard this rumour....I'd love to know what your 'take' on it is.

mom jeans

Gotta Love SNL! I'm so glad to see that I'm not the only one to notice the abundance of Mom Jean's out there. I'm all for mid to low rise - minus the 'muffin top' of course. I want to start a jeans revolution - BAN ALL MOM JEANS!!

Rumour of a 'moritorium' on accepting new dossiers?

There is a new rumour out there within the last few days that CCAA may stop accepting new files/dossiers until they are able to deal with the current backlog...it is estimated that there are over 30,000 files currently waiting to me matched...an estimated 2 to 3 year wait from DTC to referral is accepted as very likely. No word yet on when (or if) this moritorium will begin. I've been wondering for a while when this would happen....strange that it may occur near/at the same time as the Beijing Olympics. I'm not sure if I would consider this coincidental...perhaps a way to 'save face' on the CCAA's part. Regardless, I think it is the most RESPONSIBLE thing for CCAA to do at this point, but I wonder why rumours of this happening are just coming out now....if it was done a year ago, the current climate of IA adoption from China would be very different. I can't for the life of me understand why a backlog of so many dossiers was even allowed to happen in the first place. When we first started looking into IA in 2003, I thought that there was a quota system in place....that agencies were only permitted to submit so many dossiers in a year....not sure what ever happened with that...

I do hope that the CCAA intends to keep the Waiting Child Program open, however. It would be a tragedy for so many children with health issues/medical needs to languish in the orphanage system. I guess we will wait and see what becomes of this rumour.

Compliments for Mommy....

About an hour ago, DD said the sweetest thing to me -

"You are the cutest Mommy in the whole wide uniform!"

Obviously, she is working on not mixing up similar words - uniform vs. universe.....but I think its cute, nonetheless :)

Happy Mother's Day tomorrow to all of you Mom's, Mom's in waiting, Mom's to be....

I hope it will be a day to remember!

Links to other blogs?

I'd love it if someone could pass on some links for other Canadian adoption blogs. I have links to several, but I always like to see what people are talking about in the IA world. Can you share dome of your personal favs? Check out my 'links' for some of the ones I currently visit.

The times they are a' changin' ......

With this new month, come the changes that CCAA announce several months ago - BMI less than 40, must have a certain net worth, no singles, age restrictions, certain health restrictions (no depression etc...). I beleive that the CCAA has implemented these new rules in order to address the huge increase in dossiers it has been receiving over the past 2 years....primarily, this increase has come from the U.S. I think that many PAP's and agencies saw China as the most timely option....a 'sure thing' and responded by sending a flood of applications to adopt.

The CCAA appears to be focussing on the Waiting Children's Program - those children with special needs - usually 'minor, correctible' medical needs such as Cleft lip/palate, certain heart conditions (ASD, VSD), birth marks /haemangiaomas, missing/webbed digits, limb differences, vision impairment, hearing impairment, albinism, anal atresia, spina bifida etc.... They seem to be also specifically identifying malnourisment and neglect as 'special needs' at this time as well.

My hope is that these changes reflect a true change in Chinese society...specifically that more domestic adoptions are being allowed to take place and that the vast majority of abandoned/orphaned children are not girls. Only time will tell....

With these recent rule changes, some people out there in IA-land are also discussing interim adoptions, changing counties and attrition rates. Depending on the rules of a certain country or even the state/province, these issues will be more or less important. In my Canadian province, I don't think it is even possible to do an interim adoption while you wait for a Chinese referral...at least I haven't yet heardof anyone attempting it. Perhaps a domestic adoption is allowed, but an interim International adoption is not. I know this is the case in some US states. Because of the huge increase in wait times between DTC and referral/travel to China (upwards of 18 months at present and rising), some people are actually choosing to pull their file completely from China and begin another adoption. Some estimated put the current attrition rate as high as 25%. Not sure if I agree with this....its not easy to gather clear info to come up with that type of stat b/c once people 'pull' their files, they tend to diasappear from the China/IA community...they tend not to announce what they have done. Agencies would be reluctant to give this type of confidential info out - even to their other clients, I would presume.

I wonder what, if any, effects attrition or the rule changes with have on those files already logged in in China - will CCAA be able to process files any quicker (I don't mean referrals, but rather the paperwork that comes after - especially for WC Program - LOA, TA.....)? Will staff be reassigned? Supposedly there are fewer babies available for adoption - or I should say 'paper ready'....meaning that the orphanages are not completing as many babies' files as there are PAP files waiting to be processed.

I'd love to hear input or opinion...but I've yet to receive a single comment on this blog....is anyone even reading this? If so, please let me know :)

First, The Fonz did it.....

OK...it was inevitable, only a matter of time, bound to happen sooner or later....
This week, something I was not looking forward to finally happened - The Gilmore Girls offically 'jumped the shark'. I knew when I saw (and gasp....heard) Lorelei sing Karaoke, that the days of Stars Hollow, Logan Huntsberger and the Friday Night Dinner are numbered.
The only question now....Do I keep watching? Ahhh, yes....like a rubbernecker at an accident on the 401 at rush hour, I'll watch each episode until its finale...some I'll even watch twice. Because I'm crazy like that :)

'jumped the shark' - for those of you less informed Re: t.v. series speak - this terms refers to the exact moment of the episode that a series no longer retains its 'untouchable' good qualities....when a show begins its trickle-down towards cancellation.....the term originates from the series "Happy Days", when The Fonz and the gang go from Milwakee to California, and in the episode, Fonzie literally jumps over a shark on waterskis....some kind of challenge akin to his previous motorcycle antics....but this time in the water!! The show never really regained its former glory after that. Ever since, industry insiders (and wannabees like HM!) have used the term to describe a series in decline.

What's next, pubic hair conditioner?

OK...I know this has nothing to do with IA, but I think SOMEONE needs to comment on this...its been irking me since I first saw the commerical a few days ago....

There is a new commercial for an underarm deodorant/antiperspirant. In the ad, a group of women is given some antiperspirant, a t-shirt and a tank top. They are given 5 days in which to use this new 'pit juice', after which they must report back, wearing which ever of the two clothing items they feel most comfortable in. All but one woman return wearing the tank tops b/c, somehow, a miracle has occurred and they now have amazingly smooth underarms that deserve to be shown off. And of course, they are all bubbling with excitement over this newfound freedom to don a tank top!

Did I miss something when it comes to armpit hygiene? Is there suddenly an epidemic of women with rough, tough armpits that must never be shown? Is this a silent, previously taboo subject that thankfully can now be discussed in mixed company? Just how long has this been going on? And why have I been so out of the loop? Am I just one of the 'lucky ones' that has yet to suffer the heartbreak of ugly underarms? Am I doomed to come down with 'uglyarmpitosis' once I reach a certain age? What is a woman to do?

Seriously though, am I the only one that is tired of companies creating new ailments that women must be convinced that they DO suffer from, in order to increase sales? I really don't think I am alone when I say, "My armpits are doing fine and have been doing fine thanks!" Sheesh....its not like I need any convincing to use antiperspirant/deodorant....not like its a new product, or even 'new and improved'....I'm human, therefore capable of sweating and smelling. That's the bottom line. 'Nuff said.

Some stuff going down in IA land...

I started this blog so that I could do something a bit different than what I've already been doing throughout our current adoption. I have another 'adoption journal' on a cutsie, 'everything is perfect here in international adoption-land site'. But, truth be told, not everything is so rosy all the time. Things can and do go wrong. Disruptions, unexpected illnesses after adopting a child, corruption, baby trafficking, unethical agencies, and my personal pet peeve - the internet groups that claim to be 'Christian', yet so easily slam anyone who speaks outside of what has become the norm in adopt-speak.

It seems that lately, I've been reading more and more about the 'dark underbelly' of IA...are more and more people running into trouble or are more people just now willing to speak up?
Case in point - one potential adoptive parent (PAP - kinda a yucky acronym) was recently denied an adoption of a child in an Asian country b/c of the colour of her skin (turned down by the Asian country, not her own) . Her agency is trying to bring about a favourable resolution to this situation, but in the meantime, plenty of people seem to be running scared that any mention of this case could put all potential adoptions in this country in jeopardy. Is this really possible? Is all this 'walking on eggshells' really necessary? If so, what does this say about the state of IA in general? Or about the relationship between the sending and receiving countries?

Personally, I'm becoming more and more disillusioned about the whole process the more I research and read. My immediate solution is to see where this leads me in term of continuing to find out more. I'm far from an expert parent or IA expert, but what I am is one of many, many parents who are ALREADY parenting a child who joined their family through IA....so that obligates me to keep searching for answers.

Welcome

Hello! Welcome to House Mouse Has a Family!

After years of reading and living viacariously through the blogs of others as they navigate through the journey that is International Adoption (specifically, China), I have decided to add my own version of 'bloggy goodness' to the mix.

You may be wondering why I have chosen the name "House Mouse". Here's the short version -
It is a nickname I was given as a child. Since what my daily life and the majority of what my posts will be about, I thought the name just fit.

Feel free to leave comments...I will try my best to reply, if necessary.

See you again soon,
HM.