Check out this blog!

I recently happened upon a great blog, written by a woman who has been living in Hohhot, Inner Mongolia, China since August. Her husband is a university professor, teaching History and English and they have two young children.
You can find it at arnoldsinchina.blogspot.com .

I find it especially interesting since our youngest son, E, is from Hohhot! We met him and brought him home just a month before this family arrived in China.

Check it out if you get the chance :)

D.

Where's Senja?

Does anyone know where Senja's blog www.searchanddestroytwins.blogspot.com went? I can't seem to access it? Did she up and go private or something. Personally, I can't see that happening after she recently put so much info out there about her girls' names and meanings etc...

Let me know if you have the 411....I'm in twin withdrawl here :)

UPDATE: I hear from one source that she has gone 'private'....hmmm....still hoping to hear otherwise...wondering what happened to make her do that?

early, early childhood memories?

After discussing some 'adoption issues' today with some other parents of children fro China, I started to think about early childhood memories. I'm not sure if research has ever been done on the earliest its possible to have memories...too lazy to actually google it tonight. Anyway, I'm wondering if its possible that my daughter, adopted at 12 months old, could have memories of the time before her adoption. According to her, she does. She 'remembers' details about a caregiver. The details she has shared are interesting and not related to any other topic that we've discussed with her...so it begs the question - Are these real or imagined memories? Does it really matter? I'm not sure it matters, so I choose to treat her memories as real and valid. I believe that if I questioned these memories at this time, it would give her a sense that perhaps she shouldn't open up about her adoption. She is four years old. I've heard that this particular age is when regular discussions/questions are often requested by the child...that is if he/she has been given the message that adoption is a comfortable, valuable, interesting topic to discuss. We've always been open with T about her adoption...we talk a lot about China, about our trips there (she's been part of both - her adoption trip and E's adoption trip this past summer). She is quite proud of being 'Chinese and Canadian' and she finds great comfort in hearing about the day that we met....we go over that time and time again...its very sweet to hear her now tell the story.

The real reason I am even thinking about memories is because I often question whether issues that come up are just part of childhood, or if, in fact, they are adoption related. In our particular situation with T, I tend to think most things are regular 'kid issues'...not so with E. I see more 'adoption related' issues with him. But, he was adopted at a slightly older age and he seems much more comfortable expressing his stronger feelings (like anger, hurt, diappointment, frustration) than his sister....personality, gender or again with the 'adoption issues', I'm not sure. The ironic thing with E is that I immediately felt bonded, connected and attached to him...not so with T...it took us both a little while. E has attached to me, but its still a bit shaky at times....we have our days where I could swear he could care less that I'm his Mama...but we're working on it and I just love him to bits :)

I think I'll be discussing this more on one of my Yahoo groups....not sure if there is even anyone reading this blog anymore..... but if you are, I'd l ove to hear what you have to say :)

New Year....not so new crap and complaining...with a bit of hopefullness chucked in for good measure...

Back from the va-cay...with mixed feelings. Had a good time in the D.R....up until the first part of the second week, when the poo and the puke came to us with a vengeance! Good thing we pack the whole pharmacy...here's a short run-down of what we used....4 different kinds of antibiotics - 1 for an infected foot (caused by a nasty blister), 1 for a urinary tract infection, 1 for the squirts and 1 for pneumonia; lots of gravol (kids and adult - tablet and injectable forms); immodium and Pepto tablets; benedryl and aerius - for a pesky sun rash; and some other random stuff like the usual Advil and Tylenol. Kinda takes the fun out of vacation when the whole fam-damily is holed up in the hotel room for 3 days straight....but we were all better in time to enjoy the last 3 days of sun and sand.

Today, as we are back to the regular scheduled programming (read: kids at school, too much laundry to do, a big, dunpy mess of a house to clean....), I am also waiting in anticipation to hear referral news from friends of ours who have waited entirely too long to see the face of their newest addition. They travelled to China with us in 2004 - our daughters are from the same orpahanage and are only a few days apart in age....did I mention that they are also two of the most gorgeous girls I've ever seen? Biased? Who, me?

I've been lingering online throughout today, checking to see if there is any referral news....so far, nothing...but I know its on the way....
can't wait to see her face :)

Waiting also for nanny news...when she will arrive (read: when my life will be back to a semblance of normal....house cleaned, meals cooked, laundry not piled up waiting for weeks to be put away.....you get the drift). i guess seh really won't be a 'nanny' per se...more of a live-in housekeeper with some child care duties.

Planning to redo our kitchen this summer. I'm gearing up to go searching for kitchen contractors in the next few weeks. I'd like to get a few quotes...and a few suggestions. Our current kitchen is circa-1973....and I will not miss one thing about it when its smashed to smitherines to make way for the new kitchen. We are also planning on finishing up some other reno work at the same time...some flooring changes (to take the last remaining remnants of the 1970's out of this house) and some flooring repairs (to take the last remaining remnants of the damage done to the hardwood by the previous owner's devil of a dog) and some paint changes....not sure I'm digging some of the colour choices I made 2 years ago. In order to let the contractor/workers do their jobs interupted, we've decided that once the work begins, we will take the kids and temporarily move to the cottage...anywhere from 3 weeks to a month. Usually we spend mostly weekends plus a week, maybe two at the cottage...looking forward to a big chunk of time at the lake :)

Gotta go troll the Internet for news of referrals...perhaps a trip to the Rumor Queen is in order.....

Where, oh where has my little blog gone?

Crap.... Has it really almost been two months since my last post? Let's do a little catch-up:
1. Hired nanny
2. Nanny agreed to take job and then quit before she started...while waiting for work permits etc...
3. Interviewed and hired another nanny...this time she's in Taiwan...will take about 8 weeks to process paperwork and get her here....but taking into account Xmas, Chinese New Year etc....will no doubt take longer :(

I really had my hopes up with the first nanny...why she waited several weeks to let me know she no longer wanted the job, I just don't know. I suspect it may have something to do with a preference among many nannies to be in the Toronto area...rather than the small-ish town near Lake Erie where we live. People seem to have this idea that we are an isolated community here...kinda burns my ass in a way! Personally, I think we are in a great area to access MANY other great areas....we are a bout 1 1/2 hours from downtown Toronto, about the same to London, about 45 minutes from Hamilton, about 1 1/2 hours from Niagara Falls...kinda convenient if you asked me...but, alas, she didn't :(
So, we are back to square one with the nanny situation...waiting the next candidate to arrive from Taiwan....I wonder how shocked she'll be going from Taipai to this town?
On the holiday front....Santa has been and gone at our house!!! Yipee, we are past the presents, the really high highs and the inevitable lows that follow and now we can concentrate on what this fam-damily REALLY likes to do at this time of year...LEAVE THE COUNTRY!!!! We will soon be marooned on a beach for 14 days....I see mucho Pina Colada's in my future!! I see a well used Kid's Club, massages for me on the beach while the Kid's Club is getting well used and did I mention that I won't be lifting a finger at meal time, but to grab a plate and fill it with food cooked by SOMEBODY ELSE!
Can't make any promises about when I'll be back to the blog...let's say sometime in early January.

Nanny 411

I'm glad to say that, today, we were finally able to interview and hire a nanny!! Yay!! I haven't heard when she will officially start, but it may be as early as one week from today (Nov 1). Looking forward to once again having a clean house (its been a while), having laundry done within a few days of it being dirty, rather than me trying to decrease the size of the heap throughout the week and never quite getting to the bottom of it. Looking forward to making (and being able to keep) appointments for myself. I've been needing to see the dentist since June (for a persistent toothache), but haven't been able to guarantee that I can actually keep the appointment, therefore, I haven't bothered to make one. DH has a very erratic, busy schedule and it can be difficult to make/keep appointments unless they are last minute. Looking forward to getting back on my treadmill - ok...so not the actual exercise itself, but the results (read: fit back into my jeans). Looking forward to doing some minor home renovations - painting the hallway, the den, the cement floor in the basement. Looking forward to planning a major reno of the kitchen for the summer. And I'm also looking forward to spending sometime in the company of other adults at DH's office....they have plenty of work to keep me busy.

It will take some getting used to to have someone living in our house with us, but I really do think its the best solution for us right now. My poor little man, E, won't have to spend so much time in the car withme driving his sister and brother to and from school...he can stay with the nanny and so what he does best - play, make messes, torment the cats and eat...in no particular order.

I'm not sure if any readers out there have any tips for us re: the nanny. I'd appreciate any advice, even if its just about employer/employee relationships and has nothing to do with having a nanny. I've been the employee plenty of times, but never an employer.

Gotta go put my two big kids to bed or they will be grumpy and tired in the morning.

Thanksgiving Weekend update

I haven't felt very bloggy lately....just kind of in a funk. Feeling a bit better after spending most of this weekend at Great Wolf Lodge in Niagara Falls....the kids absolutely loved it! I think we spent more hours in water for one weekend than we ever have...including when we go on va-cay to the Carribean! Our littlest man was the most difficult to convince that it was time to get out of the pool...he even managed to go down a few of the smaller water slides...this boy has no fear :) We jam-packed our weekend with water slides, story time, arcade games, glutonous meals at the buffet restaurant and even a horse-drawn hayride on Saturday night. I do have pics that I will share as soon as I can get then transferred to disc from the disposible camera that I was forced to buy after forgetting the digital ;(

Speaking of pics, I have decided to go only semi-anonymous...meaning: some pics, some more personal details, but without 'real' names - letters only. House Mouse 1, my biggest boy (almost 5) will now be called "N". My girly, girl (almost 4) will now be called "T" and our little man, House Mouse 3 will now be called "E". (If you happen to actually know us in person, you're probably thinking that I've chosen such original pseudonyms ;) My hope in all this is that the blog will be a bit more interesting to those that have started to read it, yet at the same time, keeping things a bit protected. I really hope to keep this blog within the adoptive community only, therefore, don't mind sharing more personal details at times.

Back to this weekend's happenings....This afternoon, we spent some time at our local county fair...takes place each year during 'Thanksgiving Week'. It was quite unusual this year in that it was actually warm weather...actually, hot, uncomfortable weather for this type of event. Most years, we end up bundling up in warm jackets, sometimes even mittens and hats have been required. The warm weather actually changed the whole focus of the fair (for me, anyway). My main goal, since I outgrew the rides, has been to eat my way through the fair...seriously. Let me explain the annual event more clearly. I start out with one dixie dog slathered in mustard (painted on with a brush, actually) - Bryan's Dixie Dogs only! Then I make my way down 'greasy food alley' towards Bev and Suzie's chip wagon - THE best fries in town. Then I need somewhat of a thirst quencher, so its fresh squeezed lemonade at the booth with the big line-up (can't remember the name). After walking through a few of the buildings (chickens, rabbits, horses, commercial buildings etc...) it is nearing the time to go home (because some years there have also been slices of pizza, BBQ beef on a bun, giant kosher pickles and one time even an elephant ear added to the list!!). On the way our, I travel a very clear path - first to Laur's booth for a few sticks of taffy (blue raspberry and wintergreen), then to the cinnamon bun place for a few take-home bundles of sugar topped with more sugar. Next is the apple cider booth for a jug of something 'healthy'. It varies slightly from year to year (depending sometimes on certain cravings if timed at that special time of the month), but my take home stash has also included a candy apple or two and sometimes a bag of caramel corn. By the way, I've been reading about this 'new' eating disorder...something to do with 'overeating' or 'binging'....lol!! I figure its once a year and my diet starts tomorrow ;)

While at the fair, we did manage to see some old aquaintances,see some real characters (can you say 'barely a set of teeth between an entire carload of folks'?) and actually meet some new people. I finally had the chance to meet another adoptive mom from this area with whom I've been communicating with online for several months (hi JAJ!!). You would think that living in the same smallish town, we would have run into each other by now. It was nice to actually meet her and her family in person...her gorgeous girl reminds me a lot of my T when she was that age...ahhh memories. And her youngest son is quite the charmer....I think he and I could have had hours of interesting conversation...what a cutie :)

My little man...I mean "E" has decided that its not quite sleepy time yet...so I'd better go reintroduce him to his bed...but I'll try to post a few pics before I go....

Mmm....chocolate

The following item from 'blogthings' is appropriate to sum up the past few days....I have needed chocolate in a big way! I've been feeling kind of melancoly the past week or so...not really depressed or sad, just kind of out of sorts. I guess the fact that I am now official chauffeur two my two 'big kids'...40 minutes each way to school and back...morning and afternoon, trying to fit in laundry, house cleaning, make a descent meal for dinner, bath, clothe and put my wee ones to bed each day...kinda wearing me down....hence, the need for chocolate. Tomorrow, I'm taking a few hours off to get a pedicure and my hair done...gotta share that my toes have never looked worse and the roots are VERY bad right about now.
Looking forward to Saturday evening...meeting some of the families from our first China travel group (Dec 2004) for dinner in Toronto. We get together several times each year....this time just so happens to co-incide with Autumn Moon Festival (a wee bit early, I know). Always wonderful to see the girls as they grow and talk 'parent' with the Moms and Dads. All the girls just started JK this month...there should be some great stories and pics to share :)
For now... I'm off to watch Survivor China (starts tonight) and eat some white chocolate covered cookies...even though I REALLY am a milk chocolate girl at heart.

You are Milk Chocolate

A total dreamer, you spend most of your time with your head in the clouds.You often think of the future, and you are always working toward your ideal life.Also nostalgic, you rarely forget a meaningful moment... even those from long ago.

=">What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofchocolateareyouquiz/">What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

Bits and pieces...

I'm still mulling over whether or not to remain anonymous...I think most people reading this actually know who I am or have figured it out (JAJ!)....so, basically, I'm not sure I'm anonymous anyway. I appreciate the fact that others have been very selective about which family members and friends to share the blog with. I haven't shared the blog with anyone in my 'real life' except for my husband....and I plan on keeping it that way. I already feel like we live in a bit of a fishbowl in our smallish-sized town since my husband is a family doctor here. Seems like if people don't already know our business, they just fill in the blanks as they please!

I think I will start to include pictures, but will keep the 'code names' for the kids. I have some really cute pics from last Tuesday (first day of school) of the kiddos...just need to figure out how to get them here from my crackberry and I'm set. I'm fairly new to RIM's wonderful invention...and I'm a bit of a techno-tard ;) We'll see how long it takes for me to get the pics on the blog.

We (meaning I'm trying to get husband to agree) are looking into hiring a live-in nanny....again. We actually had a nanny for two weeks last year...didn't work out...kinda strange situation...long, arduous story....anyhoo....
I think its strange to have someone live in the house, but I think I can can get used to the idea if it means my house is clean, the laundry is done, meals are ready at a normal time, things get baked in the oven and I can actually spend time with my children where I'm not combining play with all of the above tasks. I guess we would, in essence, be hiring more of a live-in housekeeper rather than a nanny, since she would spend far more time with household tasks than actual childcare. But she would be able to provide me with some back-up when husband is on-call...those days (especially weekend ones) can get pretty harried around here. She could also watch LM3 at home while I drive the 40 minutes I need to twice daily to chauffeur LM1 and LM2 to their school....beats having LM3 bored stiff in the car....not exactly 'quality time' for him.
I'm hoping to find someone who is not Canadian (maybe speaks Mandarin), but has lived/worked in Canada for a year or two. Part of the difficulty with the first nanny was the culture shock for her... The non-Canadian thing is b/c I find that most Canadians would rather not live-in and lack a certain work ethic that I'd be looking for (wondering if these comments are going to be offensive to some? Hope not).
I've been looking online at candidates...already have found a few promising leads....
Gotta go put the mice to sleep....they are just exhausted after school these days and LM3 is too b/c rather than let him sleep in, I wake him early now to get him ready to go.

To remain anony'mouse' or not?

I've been thinking a lot lately about how to proceed with this blog...whether or not to remain anonymous - meaning no 'real' names, no pictures of the family I love so much. As of now, I'm still undecided. I read several blogs on a regualr basis....some more anonymous than others. I'd love to hear some feedback...what made you decide to do your blog the way you do?

My original reason for being anonymous (although I've revealed my true identity to a few readers) was to protect my kids and my husband...so that I could talk about personal issues without causing them any undue harm or embarrassment. Our family already appears to be 'different' to most people we encounter on a daily basis...only one of our children 'look like' us....meaning two are Asian and one is Caucasian. Not many people where we live are familiar with adoption, let alone international adoption. I don't want to make a spectacle of our family, yet I doubt very highly than anyone outside the IA community (and more specifically, China IA community) even reads this blog...or any adoption blogs, for that matter. So, I ask myself - am I being too cautious? Would readers benefit from seeing who we are? From getting the occasional photographic glimpse of our lives? Would I feel more inspired and less cautious in my writing? On the other hand, by losing my anonymity, do I also give up my opportunity to gripe about certain subjects without the risk of any repurcusions?
I tell ya, its making my head spin. I'd love to hear from anyone with an opinion.